teflaime (mtfay) wrote,

Cities as potential girlfriends

Some friends and I were talking about cities and one of us described a couple of the cities in terms of the kinds of girls he had dated. So naturally, all of us had to do so. And since I thought they were mostly funny, I'm reposting them here...credits to fosteronfilm, dude_the, Patrick, Chris, and Dean... all of whom a couple of my friends will know and none of whom the rest will know. :)

New Orleans is one of those girls you date
that aren't exactly beautiful or exceptionally smart
or funny on their own or any of the other trappings of
attractive, yet for some reason you're just drawn to
them. Maybe it's in the way she moves, or smiles, or
dances, or maybe it's just her soul but for some
reason you keep going back to her.

Austin is sort of like one of those really hot girls
that have all of the parts in the right places but for
some reason they're just soulless and unattractive.

San Franscico and London are beautiful and full of character but too expensve.

San Diego is Ann Coulter.
Hmmm... why do I stay here? Uh, yes. Money. And you don't have to talk to Ann too often.

Denver is a fundamentalist ski bunny...She's fast and
loose, until you represent something that her pastor
tells her is immoral (never mind that she will sleep
with you until she finds that out).

St. Louis is like a snobby mid-western girl. Very
white-bread but thinks she is above everyone else.
She can be initally very pleasant, but after awhile
you loose interest in her.

Chicago is a busty girl who can have a big mouth and
is full of flaws but has a heart of gold. She lives
to have a good time.

New York is very hot-looking yet elegant and
sophisticated. She can be very cold and extremely
opinionated about everything when you first meet
her, but she warms up a lot once you get to know

Arlington, VA:
Perfect, as though carved in marble by god himself to sit silent watch over the dead. And she's every bit exciting and friendly as a cold marble statue is going to be.

Washington D.C.:
Prim face, golden spectacles, ankle length skirt, and hair back in a tight bun: she has to be a librarian, or perhaps a curator. She speaks in facts, figures, and historical anecdotes, until you get her away from the crowd. At which point, you find she loves to take it in the ass while calling you daddy. You don't remember much of the rest of the night, but you are happy to find yourself alive, in one piece, and still in possession of your wallet the next morning.

Las Vegas, NV:
Perhaps the best body you've ever seen on a woman, except her implants, which appear to have been purchased at a sporting goods store. Her hair is also just a bit too 80s. It isn't until the next morning that you realize that she's been talking to you this whole time. She never shuts up, and you eventually are forced to either leave her or go insane.

Atlanta is a hot babe. Not the very hottest, but still, pretty sexy.
She's wearing the latest edgy, sexy fashions, from two years ago. She was
something of a C student, but is very nice, and won't take you home
because she's embarrassed about her backwards family.

Seattle, WA:
Wild and outrageously hip, and she knows it. In fact,
she counts on it, because it's the only way she will
get you to put up with her bi-polar disorder, which
she medicates with caffeine and barbituates. But she
likes her sex kinky and she always puts it in her
Tags: juvenile humor

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