teflaime (mtfay) wrote,

So, it's 10 degrees with a -5 wind chill. But that's nothing compared to the silliness at my place of indentured servitude.

See, the mighty fortress of "major financial services" company has taken to a new practice - hiring people even more incompetent than the ones they had. Want a Unix admin? Hire some guy that pissed on a Linux server one time in college when he was drunk. And make sure his native language is Pashtun because we don't want him to actually learn anything.

Or, as an alternative, hire a batshit crazy drama queen (who actually happens to be female). She will demoralize the people who actually know what they are doing so much that all projects that are even supposed to take place on the same floor of the building as her will fail. Spectacularly.

So, they decided enough of that had happened. Which means that they need to catch up with the work that hasn't actually occured while the batshit crazy drama queen was working on 3rd level. This means that 3rd level is way behind and because 1st level is filled with Pashtun speaking Linux urinators (who are almost as worthless as batshit crazy drama queens), they have to raid the only team left that has useful members, 2nd level (I'm on 2nd level). Because if the other 2 teams can't get any work done, why should we? So, this is where I come into the story. 3rd level is calling. And they are calling me by name. Why? Well, see, the manager on 3rd level decided that she didn't really like the whole "hire stupid and crazy people so your projects utterly fail" approach that her predecessor took. It's hurting her performance reviews and keeping her from making executive vice president. So, she wants competent people who actually work (and so do the competent people on her team, that actually work. Both of them). So, the competent people on her team said, "Pick him. He works." Then they added, slyly, "And he knows this operating system that none of us know, which is holding up on of the objectives on your Annual Personnel Torture and Review sheet."

So, that's how I got tabbed to move to 3rd level, only months after being made the external team coordinator for going to meetings and telling people to kiss off (Yes there is actually such a position, but it has a company specific title that I won't reveal here because I need to keep my employment.) Now, if I were an internal employee at this company, I would have to be a black or asian woman to progress this quickly. But I'm a consultant, so it's just a matter of moving who's paying for my contract. So, I profess, I'm glad it's just about money. I hate internal politics and being a white male, I would always be on the short side of them.

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